


5 times Armin said "I love you" (and 1 time he didn't)

by kirbanana



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Armin and Levi are actually really compatible, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, I'm Bad At Summaries, M/M, Minor Jean Kirstein/Eren Yeager if you really squint, No Smut, No underage, One sided Past Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager, Possible Character Death, Romance, Slow Burn, altered ages, mostly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28153644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirbanana/pseuds/kirbanana
Summary: 5 times Armin Arlert told Levi that he loved him, and 1 time he didn't.Eren's the one that's the Levi fan. Not Armin. He always thought Levi was averagely handsome with an over sized ego to boot, but ends up joining the fan-club himself by a combination of a twist of fate, Levi's great action moves, and a realization of an amazing personality beneath intimidating behavior.(It's a happy ending)
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Levi
Comments: 25
Kudos: 107





	5 times Armin said "I love you" (and 1 time he didn't)

**Author's Note:**

> There aren't enough Rivarmin fics out there, so I wrote my own. Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> P.S. While reading X2, listen to some epic AOT soundtracks. That's what I did when I was writing it.

**X1.**

Armin was 12.

Mikasa stood on his left, mouth obscured by her thick red scarf such that her expressions were unreadable – dark grey eyes enigmatic as usual. He didn’t pay enough attention to her to make educated guesses as to what is on her mind, though. His gaze was fixed on the enraptured boy with the green eyes on his right.

Eren was grasping Armin’s hand tightly, giving him a wide, toothless smile. The smile, combined with the warmth of Eren’s hand in his own made his heart fill with warmth, for some unknown reason. It was slightly sweaty thanks to Eren’s uncontrollable excitement, but the sensation wasn’t entirely unwelcome.

“Look, Armin! It’s the Survey Corps!” Eren exclaimed excitedly. He was one of the only few who still had that air of energy and happiness with regards to the Survey Corps, Armin noted. People around them were whispering in low voices full of resentment towards the soldiers, complaining about wastage of taxes, resources and lives.

“It would have been somewhat better if they had some good findings, but they only come back with dead bodies and even more missing members!” one man said through clenched teeth.

“What’s the point of even venturing outside the wall! We’re all safe here, sending people outside to get devoured is just a waste of resources!” the man next to him responded, with furious hand gestures.

Personally, Armin didn’t have much of an opinion on the ventures of the Survey Corps. He didn’t particularly believe that they would be safe inside the walls forever – that was too naïve a train of thought, really, for anyone in their situation – and it seemed logical to him that sooner or later, there would be a Titan strong enough to break down the walls or find a way in. So perhaps, it was for the good that the Survey Corps did additional research outside now to find out more.

However, when it happened – they would need resources and strong enough members to destroy the titans within the walls and repair the damage before more titans could come in. This possibly meant that instead of wasting resources on ventures outside, they should spend it on bolstering defences and having efficient systems within the wall set up in the case of an invasion, especially if the Survey Corps didn’t yield much good news in the way of finding more about the titans. For less logical reasons though, Armin wanted to join, if only so he could get to see the ocean. An endless stretch of glittering water that tasted like salt and lapped at his knees. It would be worth dying to see that.

Of course, Armin kept all these musings to himself, Eren being the staunch supporter of Survey Corps that he was. Any semblance of a comment possibly against the Survey Corps would send Eren into a scuffle with the person silly enough to suggest it. Silly, not because scuffling with Eren was all that terrifying, but because Mikasa would coldly and relentlessly destroy the one who decided to say something that made Eren unhappy. Besides, he wanted to see Eren happy. It made Armin happy. Whether it was entirely brotherly feelings or perhaps a little something else mixed in there, Armin did not know.

Throughout Armin’s inner musings, Eren was waving his free hand in the air to try and attract the attention of the soldiers on their horses, images of wings of freedom fluttering on their backs. His eyes were fixed on a certain Captain of the Survey Corps.

Said Captain kept his eyes straight ahead, head up proud, a look of haughtiness on his face. His stature was small, especially next to the tall and intimidating Commander Erwin next to him, but his air of confidence and disdain as well as his famed prowess in Titan-killing drew eyes all around. The crisp undercut he had made him look older than he really was, though he was barely 18. His eyebrows were knit closely in what seemed like a permanent frown, and Armin wondered to himself if anything ever made him smile.

He was handsome, but nothing all that special, Armin thought. Not special enough to entitle him to wear that air of arrogance, as if everyone else was beneath him.

Eren seemed oblivious to his attitude, though. The fact that Levi Ackerman had the most number of recorded Titan kills, far higher than anyone else – was enough to make Eren a die-hard fan. He clambered up on a stool and waved a piece of parchment with the Wings of Freedom drawn on it by himself.

“Captain Levi! Captain Levi!” Eren yelled, in a last minute bid to get the Captain’s attention. “I love you, Captain Levi!”

The word ‘love’ tugged at Armin’s chest, and made him yearn to join the Survey Corps for reasons other than seeing the ocean. If only he could secure Eren’s attention, words, and adoration like that one day.

He had a short but blissful daydream that it was him on that horse, called one of Humanity’s Strongest by the public – and Eren looking at him with those adoring green eyes, cheering him on, telling him that he loved him – Armin shook his head slightly. What was he thinking?

Despite how precious Eren’s comments were to Armin, though, they were beneath Levi, who did not even take the slightest glance in their direction. Any normal person would have scoffed at the disdain their idol showed, but Eren had more perseverance and stubbornness in him than your average Shiganshina citizen. He pulled Armin up onto the stool with him.

“You should tell Captain Levi that too! Give him some moral support, tell him how much we love and admire him before the 52th Expedition!” Eren exclaimed.

Other than being stubborn, he was also painfully oblivious. To the fact that Armin and Mikasa were only there because they loved him, and not Levi. 

Armin waved the piece of parchment he was holding halfheartedly. Trust Eren to be considerate enough to draw three copies, one for each of them.

“I love you, Levi………” Armin trailed off. His lack of enthusiasm earned an elbow to his side from Eren.

“I know you’re naturally quiet, Armin, but he won’t hear our support if you don’t speak up!” Armin resisted the urge to roll his eyes. As if that was the real reason.

“I _love_ you, Captain Levi!” Armin yelled at the top of his lungs.

Levi turned his head to glance at him. He held eye contact with Armin for a few short seconds, and the corner of his lips turned up ever so slightly. Instinctively, Armin smiled back at him. For a split second, he felt like he was being noticed by some famous. He thought to himself that Levi appeared so much more handsome with a slight smile. It was nearly enough to forget about his nonchalant behaviour earlier, and enough for Armin to stare, transfixed, ignoring Eren’s angry titters about how Levi didn’t notice him.

**X2.**

It’s Armin’s turn to be 18.

He had joined the Survey Corps with Eren and Mikasa, though nothing else was as he expected it to be. The daydreams of 12 year old Armin being the pride and joy of the Survey Corps was long left behind in the wake of harsh reality.

The outer walls no longer provided any respite from Titans, as Armin had foresaw 6 years ago. People were dying left and right. Far from being Humanity’s Strongest, Armin was clearly struggling to keep up with rest of the 104th Squad that had also made the decision to join the Survey Corps, no matter how hard he worked. His physical capabilities were lacking, and this fact was exhibited clearly in training. Within the camp and the training forests, this was not something that mattered – but outside the walls, prodigious skill could save one the horrible fate of being eaten alive. While he was more intellectually blessed than his peers, there was only so much intelligence could do if he ended up grasped tightly in the hands of a Titan.

Eren had turned out to be a Titan shifter. While that was a gratification and a possible sign of hope for most of humanity, Armin feared for Eren’s life. After the revelation that Titan shifters existed – Armin came to the possible conclusion that the Colossal Titan and Armoured Titan were also intelligent forms of Titans. Eren could not possibly be the only intelligent Titan out there, which meant that other Titans would soon be searching out Eren to see whose side he was on. If he turned out to be on the side that doesn’t favour them, then his life would be in grave danger.

Armin tossed and turned in his bunk bed, while Eren snoozed peacefully below him. He hadn’t confided any of his thoughts in the boy below him, as he couldn’t be sure how he would respond. He tended to be reckless and unpredictable. If he knew that the Titans that indirectly led to the death of his mother were human, his rage might set off another Titan transformation. He might storm out to hunt for clues of their identities alone. He might face enough emotional unstability to hinder his transformation, which was mediocre at best. There were too many unknowns in the situation.

A mere few seconds before he managed to fall asleep, his brain sent him a hazy thought to confide in Levi.

The next morning, he stood outside the Captain’s door. Hesitation overtook him for a few minutes, as he stood outside nervously, his hand inches away from knocking. Just as he had mustered the courage to knock, the door swung open and he tumbled forward slightly.

“What is it, brat?” Levi said flatly, one hand ruffling his hair. He glanced at Armin. “Who even are you?”

“I’m Armin Arlert, Sir.”

“Armin who? You’ve better got a damn good reason coming here and disturbing me in the morning.”

“I’m Eren’s best friend, and – ”

“And just because he’s in my squad now, you think you got the right to come up knocking on my door and having heart to heart talks about him?” The Captain paused and peered into Armin’s stunned face.

“Oh. It’s you. Are you trying to find some stupid reason to come talk to me? I know who you are, I’ve seen you around, and I’m not interested.”

“You – you do? You have?” Armin faltered.

“52nd Expedition. That weird blonde kid, waving a shit ass drawing of the Survey Corps logo and proclaiming he loved me near the gate.” Levi snorted. “Don’t get flattered, I only remembered because it was probably so embarrassing for you.”

Armin felt his face burn slightly. He couldn’t believe the Captain had remembered that. Part of him wanted to back away and run down the corridor as fast as he could, but Eren’s life was at stake here. He needed to let someone in charge know about his hypotheses. He took a deep breath, and stopped the door with his foot as Levi was about to close it.

“I’m not here about that, Sir.”

Levi looked like he reached the limit of his patience.

“So what exactly are you here about? Me beating the fuck out of Eren at his trial? You here to get some sweet revenge?” he sneered, peering from the slightly ajar door. 

“I’m here because I think I have some clues about the Colossal Titan and the Armoured Titan that broke through the walls,” Armin said quickly in a single breath.

Levi stopped trying to close the door. Armin could tell that his interest was piqued, and took that as a golden opportunity to push further into the room. Levi let go, and went to his dressing table where a cup of tea rested, a single tea leaf floating on the tranquil green surface. Armin walked in carefully, and was stunned by how neat his room was. There wasn’t a single speck of dust anywhere. His harness and his cravats were hung up neatly next to his door. The sheets on his bed had the creases ironed out of them, while the teak dressing table was polished such that it glinted slightly in the sunlight.

“Oi,” the Captain snapped. “Quit staring and start talking. We’re not here for a room tour.”

Emboldened by the Captain giving him the benefit of the doubt, he launched into a detailed explanation about how the statistical possibility of Eren being the only Titan shifter was very low, and how the Titans that broke through the walls seemed to have premeditated concerns that weren’t eating humans, which suggested that they had intelligence.

Halfway through his talk, Levi raised a hand, signalling for Armin to stop. Insecurity reared its ugly head within Armin – did Levi not believe him? Or perhaps he hadn’t considered a certain perspective in the situation. What point did he miss? His mind ran through multiple terrifying scenarios before Levi spoke.

“Don’t look so shitting scared. I stopped you because everything you’ve said makes a lot of sense, and I think we should bring Erwin in before you continue, so that we can come to a plan. God knows I don’t have the damn brains to take in and make full use of everything you said.”

Levi walked out of the room, Armin trailing behind him. At the door, the Corporal turned back. “You’re smarter than you look,” he commented before walking to Erwin’s room without another glance. The compliment made Armin’s heart skip a beat, and he smiled despite himself.

***

Erwin and Levi both showed an appreciation for Armin’s intelligence, and invited him to stay as they made plans for the 57th expedition outside the walls. Sitting next to the 2 most revered members of the Survey Corps and watching them listen to his opinions made Armin blossom with pride, as well as a healthy amount of fear. He couldn’t believe that he was discussing with them, not in a leader-subordinate relationship, but as equals.

The detailing process turned into nightly discussions by the dimming light of oil lamps in Erwin’s study room. Erwin was frequently found standing next to a map of the regions outside of the walls hung vertically, pinning charts and schematic drawings to certain areas - while Levi sat in the chair next to Armin looking like a bored schoolboy. Armin paused to wonder if that was his natural disdainful disposition or that he preferred fighting to strategising. As he pondered that, he caught himself staring at Levi, his thin eyebrows knitted together permanently above his half lidded eyes that were, somehow, _alluring_. 

“Tch. Eyes on the board, Arlert,” Levi said, deadpan.

“I – I was just thinking, Sir,” Armin fumbled. “There might be more than one Titan shifter coming after Eren. We don’t know how many of them there are, and I suspect that they would be within our soldier ranks to keep an eye on Eren. The location of Eren in the formation should be near the rear centre, so that he’s well protected, but at the same time, we should tell everyone a different thing. That would make it harder for our enemy to pinpoint Eren’s location. It’s likely that the Titan shifters would group together or be friends, so the Survey Corps should be split into groups of people that don’t know each other that well.”

Was there a look of approval in Levi’s gaze, or did he just imagine it?

He felt himself blushing slightly, but Erwin seemed too absorbed in his map to notice the scarlet colors slowly creeping up his neck. 

“That’s a good suggestion. I’ll make groups of twos and threes, with experienced members mixing with newer members. This allows for us to keep an eye on you all newer members, as well as try and split up the enemy,” Erwin responded.

“I think Armin should join my squad.”

Both Erwin and Armin looked at Levi in surprise, Erwin’s thick eyebrows edging close to his hairline.

“Why – why me?” Armin spluttered. “I’m terrible with the 3DM gear… I don’t want to pose a burden to your squad. You guys are humanity’s strongest, admired by everyone, while I’m – I’m just me, Sir,” Armin clutched nervously at his pants, palms sweating profusely. He tried to wipe the beads of sweat off on his brown pants.

“Well, Just Armin, we need your brains. In case the plan changes, we need your intellect to help protect Eren. If he transforms… someone he knows well to try and talk to him would be handy too. The rest of us clearly have no idea how his headspace works.” At the look of mixed elation and shock on Armin’s face, Levi scowled. “Don’t expect any preferential treatment from me. I’ll treat you with the same harsh attitude the rest of the squad gets. Mistakes are still intolerable, while good performance is expected, not exceptional.”

Armin stood up quickly with his fist to his chest in a salute, knocking the chair backward in the process. “I will do my best, Sir!”

There it was again. A small not-quite-smile on the corner of Levi’s lips.

“Tch.”

Armin had put that smile there twice now, and that fact made his heart squeeze tightly, for reasons he could not fathom.

***

Armin stood on the tree branch, between Levi and Erwin. The female Titan was snared below them by multitude of strong wires, her hands clasping her nape tightly in a self defensive stance. Levi and Erwin were impressed at how successful the capturing seemed to go, but the triumph came at a price for Armin. Staring into the bright blue eyes of the female Titan, so similar to his own, he felt an urge to throw up. His stomach clenched painfully. This was Annie Leonhart. His friend. His fellow 104th squad member. They had sparred together, ate meals together, and she had taught him hand to hand combat when he was struggling to perform. She had saved him, but she had killed so many others, too. Flashes of his squad members and leaders bloodied and dead against a wall after she had grabbed them and swung them viciously ran through his mind. When he first saw her Titan form, he didn’t want to believe that it was her – but Marco’s 3DM gear, her physical similarities to Titan form, and her recognition of him – all this made him sure of the female Titan’s identity.

He knew that the Titan would have probably have been a friend of his, or a friend of Eren’s.

He thought he had mentally prepared himself to take down the enemy, no matter what it took, but it turns out he hadn’t.

He keeled over, hands braced on his knees. Even the act of standing straight proved too difficult for his trembling body. Nothing seemed real in that moment. Annie was trying to capture Eren. She might end his life. It was supposed to be obvious where his loyalties lay, but he couldn’t seem to tell right from wrong anymore. Here she was, tied up in front of him, looking right at him with a piercing gaze, eyes full of desperation, fear, perhaps even a slight hint of _betrayal._ That doesn't make sense, Armin thought. She was the one who betrayed them, and this was fair retaliation, as war often was. However, the thought of snaring Annie like this without an inch of movement, seemed far too cruel, though he himself had a hand in designing it. When it was just a nameless, faceless, Titan shifter, it seemed a lot easier to design a trap for them. He looked at his own shaking hands, and felt like they were stained full of blood and horror.

Armin sat down on the tree branch, hugging his legs with his knees. Exhaustion flowed through his body as the adrenaline from the expedition slowly faded. He wanted to cry, but the tears would not come.

Gentle hands on his head brought him back to reality.

Levi was kneeling on one knee next to him, retying his bandage around his head with quick, deft fingers. “Your bandage was falling off,” he said expressionlessly. Armin was grateful for the surprising warmth of his Captain’s hands in his hair. They made him feel more like a human, and less like a monster.

“I assume you figured out her identity... Is she a friend of yours?” Levi asked, his voice quieter than Armin had ever heard.

Armin nodded numbly.

“Am I a monster?” It was such a childish thing to ask. A second after the question slipped from his lips, he wanted to take it back. He wasn’t ready to hear the answer.

“No,” Levi responded. “When you’ve been in the Survey Corps as long as I have, you'll realise that everything is a choice, and these choices have consequences. This is part of the life we have signed up for,” he said as he continued to wrap the bandage with a level of familiarity that suggested he had done this multiple times. “Just because there are consequences, doesn’t mean we can stand at the crossroads forever so that we don’t have to choose. We choose, and we hope that what happens is for the best. You’re blessed and cursed with intelligence – that means the burden of deciding often comes to you, as people will wait for you to come up with the solutions, even if they're impossibly painful, even if your solutions end in death.”

Erwin put a hand on Armin’s shoulder. His grip was firm and steady, akin to his personality. “You may think she’s your friend, but she’s killed so many of our soldiers, our fellow men. She’s trying to capture your best friend. Letting her live is going to cost a lot more lives.”

The confidence Erwin had, the conviction - it washed over Armin. Just the tone itself was so firm that it became persuasive.

“How can you be so sure?” It came out more like a whisper than a question.

“I’m not. I never am. I just try my best and accept that there’s no one better than me to make the hard calls,” Erwin replies in a careful and neutral tone. “You would make a great Survey Corps Commander, you know. You just need to learn to balance your humanity and your emotions with your intelligence and your place in this war. Who do you think is the enemy here?”

Both the Captain and the Commander looked at Armin expectantly. He had the feeling that there wasn’t a right or wrong answer.

“Nobody’s inherently completely good or bad. Neither is she, or neither are we. However, I’m going to do whatever it takes to protect the Survey Corps, Eren, the rest of our members, and the people inside the walls, even if it means betraying my friends.”

Saying it didn’t make Armin feel any better, but it made him slightly more sure of who he was and what he had to do. He stood up, and looked at the two of them, who gave no hint of what they thought of what he had said. Their gazes were now transfixed upon the female Titan, and Armin sensed that the time for conversation was over.

All of a sudden, the female Titan screamed. It was the sound of desperation, the angry roar of someone who no longer had anything to lose. Armin cupped his ears instinctively, as the scream faded off and the ground began to rumble. The soldiers all around him began equipping their weapons out of instinct, as Erwin stared at the female Titan, recalculating their next move. Titans began rushing in from all directions towards their little clearing, sending soldiers scattering around in their 3DM gear. The sudden horde of Titans threw everyone into a frenzy, the sound of gears whirring and screams mingled in a catastrophic harmony.

After a few seconds of deliberation, Erwin gripped his blades tightly. “Protect the female Titan with your lives!” he yelled. Armin understood why he issued a command like that. They had come too far, given too many lives, and paid too heavy a price to fail to capture the female Titan.

Levi hopped off the branch, attaching to the nape of the nearest Titan and slaying it with a quite movement of the blade. Armin followed in his trail, trying to kill the 3M class Titan pulling at the female Titan’s leg. A crunch of his blade told him that he had achieved it, but there were way too many Titans who had reached Annie and were gnawing away at her flesh. Looking at the number of Titans and tabulating the numbers against the number of Survey Corps members at the scene – he knew it was a lost cause. A command for retreat was about to spill from his own lips, but he saw Erwin’s gaze and he knew that Erwin thought exactly the same as he did.

With a clenched fist and a determined look in his eyes, Erwin shouted for a retreat. His clear, commanding voice was a rallying point for the scattered soldiers, and everyone rushed to fill their gas tanks and clamber upon their horses.

Refilling his gas tank next to Levi and Erwin, Armin knew that this was the best time to retreat, while most of the Titans in the vicinity had their attention on Annie. Recovering the body of the female Titan was no longer a viable cause. Thinking of the number of lives given so that they could get to this stage, Armin felt like he finally understood the anguish and mental burden that Erwin had to bear on a daily basis. The lives of his squads were in his hands, and he knew that there was no way to achieve a win without sacrificing some pawns.

Just as he was about to follow the rest of the soldiers on their horses, Erwin pulled him and Levi back.

“We need to get Eren back. You two need to regroup with the rest of the squad.”

“I was intending to regroup with them at the edge of the forest,” Levi responded. “They should get there earlier than we do. Eren’s in safe hands.”

Erwin’s grip on their shoulders tightened. “He’s not. The female Titan will be after him. We saw the female Titan get eaten, not the person inside it... If she had 3DM gear prepared… She would be wearing our uniform now, chasing after Eren.” Erwin’s gaze was clouded with worry.

If Levi doubted Erwin’s theory, he didn’t show it. “Let’s go, Arlert,” he said in that commanding tone anyone would be hard pressed to not obey.

Armin flew in front of Levi.

“I calculated. This is the trajectory I think she would take towards the squad. Assuming the wagon escort squad and Hanji’s squad is escaping towards the West, she would move slightly Southwest to move towards Eren and your squad. She can take on the two extra squads if she had to, but I think she would take a slight detour to avoid a scuffle that would tire her out and slow her down. If she appears on the right side of your squad, I assume your squad will fly South or slightly Southeast to avoid her while one or two members slow her down. So that’s where we should fly.”

“ _Our_ squad, you mean,” Levi said mid-flight. “Lead the way. I trust your judgment.”

Armin felt a fierce rush of pride at his words, but reminded himself that it wasn’t the time to think about what he said. He had to focus on getting Eren out alive. Not only for the greater good, but for himself. The thought of Eren getting eaten or kidnapped caused panic to well up in him. He couldn’t lose his best friend. The thought of it spurred him to put on a little burst of speed with his 3DM gear.

“Watch it. Don’t use the gas unnecessarily.” A warning came from behind him. “Keep your emotions under control, Armin. Someone who can’t control his feelings is no use in a war.”

“Yes, Captain!” Armin shouted over the wind.

They flew past the dead bodies of what used to be Levi’s Squad members. Armin gasped, and the revulsion that overtook him earlier was threatening to slow him down again. How could Annie be so ruthless? She was also unbelievably strong… strong enough that the top squad in the Survey Corps died at her hand. He was overcome with a sense of fear, for himself, for Eren, even for Levi. All sorts of negative emotions threatened to shake him down to his core. Through a haze of tears, he stole a glance at Levi – perfectly emotionless even despite the dead bodies. Blades still in a casually defensive stance, ready to fight at any moment.

That was strength.

The Titan powers that Eren had, weren’t strength. His own intellect that crumbled easily in the face of adversities and corpses wasn’t strength either. The ones who were truly strong were people like Levi and Erwin. Their courage of steel, the steadfastness that they brought to everything – that was true power in the face of war. He used to admire Eren’s courage and strength, but that gradually appeared more like recklessness and impulsivity to him. Taking courage from Levi, he steeled his grip on his blades. He would not let emotions, insecurity, fear, and sadness cloud his abilities and his judgment.

The rumble on the ground signified that they were near the female Titan, even if she wasn’t in sight yet. A slight burst of speed from Levi in the direction of the noise prompted Armin to do the same. When she was finally in sight, they tailed her at a distance, to reevaluate their plan.

“Eren’s not here. Maybe he went ahead, and she hasn’t caught up yet. Or maybe she killed him already.”

Armin’s heart was pounding in his ears. His brain kept trying to tell him to think logically as he tried to keep his breathing under control.

“It’s unlikely that Eren’s ahead. All the members of the squad are dead.” He heard Levi’s breath hitch slightly, but there was no other indication that he was shaken by what he had said. “That means she would have caught up soon enough. I don’t think she would have killed Eren though. If she’s a Titan shifter, she would want Eren on their side. Want a chance to talk to him and convince him first. He’s not in her hands… Which means he’s in her mouth. We’d have to risk it. Try to get him out, even if I’m not a 100% sure he’s inside.”

Just as Levi was about to respond, Mikasa came flying through the trees on their right.

“Where’s Eren? Where the fuck is he?” she shouted angrily. Armin had never seen her so unhinged. Her eyes were blazing, and she looked as if she could trampled down 20 Titans in her path to get to Eren. Even though they had been friends for more than a decade, the look on her face of absolute fury still intimidated him, and he fought the urge to shrink away.

“We think he’s inside her mouth. She’s capturing him,” Armin explained quickly.

“I’ll fucking kill her. I’ll fucking kill that bitch.”

“Enough,” Levi interrupted. “You two distract her. I’ll get Eren. The main point is to save him, we can’t possibly kill her. Trust me. Even if you don’t, I don’t care. I’m the Captain here.”

“You fucking psycho midget, get the fuck out of my way if you know what’s good for you.” Mikasa spit in Levi’s face. Armin swung backwards to pull her away.

“Focus on the plan, Mikasa. This is the best way to get Eren out alive.”

Grudgingly, she flew ahead, without a second glance at Levi. Armin knew that she followed the plan because she trusted Armin’s judgment, not because she believed in the short ass she hated so much. Previously, this would have made Armin feel happy that others valued his words – right now though, he just felt a sense of exhaustion, and hoped that it was the right call as he flew towards Annie. He had begun to understand the sheer weight of trust.

It took all of Armin’s attention and focus to flit around Annie and avoid her hands or her punches. He was not that good a flier to begin with, and if it wasn’t for Mikasa’s skills doing most of the distractions, he would have been dead.

In a split second, her head whipped around towards Levi and her arm reached out to destroy him. Armin felt his throat catch in fear. Nobody was that fast – nobody except Levi, apparently. The Captain spun his blades along the width of her arm so rapidly that he was merely a blur. As Armin watched, he couldn’t help but admire Levi’s skill. This was the first time he had truly seen the potential of Levi’s prowess, and it was no wonder he was known as Humanity’s Strongest. As quick as a flash, he slammed the tips of his blades into her bright blue eyes, rendering her blind. As his blade broke, he jumped up, switched blades in mid air, and went back to work. The blades glinted brightly in the sunlight as he zipped between the trees, too fast for the female Titan to possibly regenerate.

She leaned in a defensive position against a tree, her hand placed strategically to protect her nape. Levi used his 3DM gear to move impossibly fast, slashing at her with fury. Despite the calm and precise movements orchestrated by Levi, Armin could feel a thinly concealed wave of anger bubbling just beneath the surface. It then occurred to Armin that he was not as disdainful or emotionless as he always seemed to be. He felt every death strongly, and it was only out of a sense of duty to those that died that he kept his emotions so tightly under lock and key to allow him to wreck havoc on even more titans. He wanted to stop Levi, apologise for every false thought he’s had about him, beg for his forgiveness – but he knew Levi wouldn’t appreciate that. Levi wasn’t a man who needed pity, or understanding from others. He needed comrades that would help him fight. Comrades that would never leave his side while he battled titans in a bid to save humanity. Armin wanted to be that, for him. To fight by his side until whatever end awaited them.

With that, he put on a burst of gas, and flew towards Annie. He predicted Levi’s movements in his head, and attacked other areas, working in perfect cohesion with him. He still did not have much skill in the way of the gear, but his brain worked overtime to make up for his poor abilities, whirring quickly and predicting moves to protect him.

He saw Levi getting ready to cut at the female Titan’s jaw, and flew towards her arms to slash off the muscle. Out of his periphery, he saw Mikasa attach the grapple hook of the gear to the Titan’s neck – she wouldn’t make it. The Titan’s left arm was still working fine. She wouldn’t be able to get there in time. Even if she could, she didn’t know about Annie’s crystallisation abilities. Disconnecting from Annie, he made a bid to fly towards her and knock her out of the way. She was always like a sister to him, and he was prepared to give his life for her. However, even as he hurtled towards her, he knew that he wouldn’t get there in time. He knew that he was too late, too slow. 

Levi wasn’t, though. He knocked her out of the way and landed on Annie’s hand. The moment his foot made contact, Levi’s face contorted in pain. Armin couldn’t stop himself from yelling out the Captain’s name. Despite the broken ankle, Levi flew towards Annie and sliced her jaw cleanly, revealing a saliva covered Eren in her mouth. He picked him up, and escaped to a nearby branch. Seeing that Eren was safe, Armin and Mikasa followed suit.

“We’re no match for her. We need to fucking get out of here and regroup with Erwin, before making our way back.” Even Mikasa did not question his instructions this time, knowing that he saved Eren from Annie.

They flew silently to the edge of the forest, where Erwin and Hanji as well as a couple of cadets were waiting for them with horses, and a wagon full of dead bodies. Levi put Eren down in one of the wagons, where Mikasa sat by him immediately and began tending to him.

Now that they were safely on the wagon, heading back to the city – Armin allowed himself to be engulfed by his emotions. The adrenaline that had kept him going was working its way out of his system, leaving him shaking and trembling. Looking upon Eren’s unconscious body in the wagon made him realise how close he had been to losing his best friend, how it was a possibility that he would never get to see those bright green eyes again.

“Thank you,” he choked out, to Levi who was sitting next to him, wrapping a splint around his ankle. “Thank you for Eren. Thank you for saving my best friend, and returning him to me.” Drowning in a wave of emotions, he clutched at Levi’s shoulders, hands fisted tightly in the soft green material. Surprisingly, Levi did not push him away. Armin always had the impression that the Corporal hated physical contact – but he was emboldened by the lack of resistance from Levi, and he pressed his face into Levi’s neck, hot tears flowing down onto Levi’s cravat.

“Thank you for saving Eren when Mikasa and I couldn’t.” Levi was still. Though he didn’t retreat from Armin, he made no move to comfort him or say anything, either.

“ _I_ love you,” Armin murmured so softly that he was sure even Levi couldn’t hear him. He wasn’t sure what prompted him to say it. He was mildly delirious in light of the events that had happened, and he wasn’t sure what he was saying out of his mouth anymore. Perhaps it was that strong wave of gratitude that made him say such things, or perhaps it was simply an exclamation of fan-like adoration, the way Eren had done 6 years ago. “Thank you for giving Eren back to me.”

A rough hand came up behind his back, rubbing tiny circles in a soothing manner, subtle enough that it wasn’t observable by Mikasa sitting nearby.

“Get a fucking grip, Arlert. Don’t let your vigilance down, we’re not within the walls yet,” Levi reprimanded. The words he said and the things he did to comfort Armin seemed to contradict greatly, but he was sure that Levi at least tolerated his presence. They might not be bosom friends, but Levi did care, to some extent. Even the harsh talk had a slightly warmer tone than when Armin first barged into his room, which was gratifying. As much as he wanted to continue to lean into Levi’s warmth, especially after the horrors of the 57th expedition – he knew that Levi would not be impressed by that. He sat up straighter, and wiped the remainder of his tears away, gaze focused on the walls that were looming ahead.

**X3.**

Armin found himself walking along that familiar winding road, cement roughly paved over a layer of hard rocks. He had traversed this path so many times that he instinctively knew which direction he was going in, and where he was going to end up. Little wispy purple flowers bloomed and glowed along his trail, waving steadfastly in the wind. He loved these flowers so. They were beautiful, yet tough at the same time, lasting years worth of cold winter and harsh sunlight without toppling over. It always reminded Armin of him, somehow. 

He didn’t have the time to stop to appreciate them. He was running late for his wedding.

The winding steps lead him upwards, along a low pale wall facing the beautiful sea, glittering like a million diamonds. He could smell the salt in the breeze as he hurried along to the small verandah that he knew was the destination he was looking for. The sun was so bright it was nearly blinding as it cast its warmth over Armin. The coarse stones faded into white marble, and he finally reached the end of the aisle that he had seen so many times. His husband was waiting at the end, for him, the circle arch of white and pink flowers looking like a halo around his head.

Sitting along the seats at the side were all his closest friends. Mikasa, Reiner, Bertholdt, Jean, Marco …… and Eren.

He blinked. Wasn’t Eren supposed to be at the end of the aisle, ready to be wedded to him? He approached Eren slowly. This was all wrong. He was at the wrong wedding, somehow. He must have made a mistake. Sent out the wrong invitations. Something was wrong.

Yet it felt so right.

Eren stood up, grasping Armin by the shoulders.

“I’m so proud of you, Armin. So proud of the man my brother has become. Go chase your happiness,” Eren said, green eyes blazing with determination.

“Then… He –” Armin faltered. He looked towards the end of the aisle. He could only see the silhouette of the man standing there. His stature was considerably shorter than that of Eren, nearly eye level with Armin. The man was dressed in a crisp black tuxedo with long black pants that fitted him well. He had a familiar neat undercut. He turned around, and Armin gasped. His black hair glinted in the sun, and his grey eyes reflected that familiar frown with a hint of elation. There was that smile, again, the slight tilt at the corner of his lips.

Tugging at his cravat, Levi drawled in a dry voice, “What took you so long? Fucking slow. It’s not too late to change your mind about marrying me.”

Armin felt himself whisper 3 little words followed by a name under his breath, while looking at his groom.

***

Armin jolted awake. He couldn’t be sure if he had whispered the words in his dream, or in real life. Nobody in the camp had noticed that he had jerked awake – snores could still be heard all around. He peered over the edge of his bunk. Eren was still sound asleep below him, mumbling something about killing Titans with a mildly maniacal smile on his face. Jean gave a particularly loud snore, causing him to flinch – but when he glanced over, Jean was scratching at his nose in his sleep. Bertholdt was in the bunk next to him, curled up and quiet like he usually was. His feet dangled off the bed.

The dream he had was a recurring dream he’s had since he was 14. He would always walk down the same aisle, and get married to Eren right next to the glimmering, beautiful ocean. The twist that it had taken today still left him in a mingled sense of surprise and shock.

“I love you, _Levi_.” He said under his breath, so quietly that it would not stir anyone, testing how they would sound like coming from him. The words rolled off his tongue perfectly, as if he was always meant to say them, and a bashful smile formed on his lips. His brain wandered to the moments where Levi wrapped the bandage ever so sweetly around his head, or him burying his face in Levi’s shirt, enveloped in his warmth. These daydreams occupied his mind far more these days, and the ones about escaping from Titans into the sunset on horseback with Eren took a back seat. “Took a back seat” was an understatement, really. Those dreams had turned into nightmares, where the horse they were riding turned into Jean’s face neighing at them angrily, and he would slide off the horse – only to get picked up suavely by a certain Captain in his 3DM gear.

As much as he knew how unlikely it was for Levi to fall in love with him, he couldn’t help but cling onto the thoughts of his warmth and his strength as he fell back asleep.

**X4.**

After the 57th expedition, most people seemed to accept Armin’s intelligence as an indisputable fact, and looked up to him for guidance. Even with the lowly title of ‘Recruit’, he found himself increasingly in the company of Levi and Erwin for strategy meetings and late night discussions. Commanders of other divisions also sought him for opinions and lengthy lunch dates. Every other day was another strategy lecture or Hanji experiment time that he was expected to attend.

Once, he thought that he could miss one or two meetings and nobody would miss him. He was still just a lowly ranked recruit. Sure, they valued his opinions, but they might not notice if he didn’t turn up at all. He wanted to spend time training with Eren and Mikasa, though the main reason was to take a break from being around Levi. Having to focus on strategy when Levi’s handsome face was right next to him, looking at him, waiting for him to talk drove him absolutely crazy. He couldn’t believe that 12 year old him had ever thought that Levi was not anything special, and in fact, a little annoying. 

Unfortunately for him, the skipping did not go unnoticed, and Levi was furious. Absolutely seething. The Captain appeared at training, glowering at everyone, enough to make the new recruits tremble in their harnesses – and dragged Armin off by an arm to the meeting without a single word. After he learned the hard way of the consequences of skipping meetings, he never dared to skive off again.

As a result, he was spending a lot less time with Mikasa and Eren. Both of them had rather diferent reactions to this, as Armin had expected. Mikasa cornered him at lunch, pulled him off to a side, and told Armin that if “that midget human with the face of a monkey dared to do anything to you, I will literally crush his balls”. Armin rushed to defend Levi from Mikasa’s wrath, reassuring her that Levi treated him extremely well during all the times that they had worked together. He knew Mikasa was just overly concerned and protective as a person, and he loved her for that, but he privately disagreed very much about the monkey comment. Levi’s slight frown had become very endearing and strangely charming to Armin. That “monkey face” was all that Armin could think about at night.

Meanwhile, Eren became increasingly sulky and short fused at this new meeting situation that broke the trio gang apart. He was already rather belligerent to begin with, but he now had the bad habit of starting scuffles with Jean every single day. He was always very elated to see Armin at lunch times, which were the rare moments the three of them could hang out together – but after Armin rushes down his food to attend another meeting, Eren went back to being sullen and moody. Spending less time with his best friends might not have been the sole reason that made Eren so unhappy. Armin had a sneaking suspicion that Eren caught Levi and Armin sitting close sometimes at lunch, brushing over military details, and got jealous. Not jealous in the sense that he had feelings for Levi the same way Armin did, but jealous as he was the bigger fan of Levi in the first place, but was now shunted to a side, with no ‘best fan’ award to boot.

That particular night, Levi had told Armin to meet him in the library after dinner time. Armin had wolfed down his dinner, nerves too frayed to pay any attention to what he was eating. He did spend a lot of time with the Captain, but one on one time was a much rarer occurrence. Eren glanced at him suspiciously over dinner, but made no comment. After finishing his food, he announced to his two best friends that he was going to head to the library. Mikasa, ever so understanding, draped a blue scarf around his neck, as the path to the library was outdoors and now caked in inches of snow. Eren, in contrast, stabbed his food with a fork.

“There you go again. Doing the disappearing act. Are we even your best friends anymore?” Eren glared pointedly at the bacon on his plate, as if it was a Titan.

“Levi asked me to meet him at the library. It’s important, Eren, I’m sorry,” Armin pleaded, before clambering over the seat and heading towards the exit of the dining area.

“Jealous? Upset your little boyfriend’s hanging out with someone else? Widdle Eren is feeling insecure?” Jean teased. Armin hurried out the front door as the teasing escalated into yet another brawl, their faces inches away from each other with twin angry frowns etched upon them. Jean and Eren never seem to get tired of each other, but everyone around was certainly tired of them.

He reached the front door of the library, blowing hot air on his fingers as he entered. The library was dimly lit with oil lamps that provided warmth as well. He had always liked the library – it reminded him of a tiny wooden cabin with his favourite things in the world – pages and pages of information. It was one of the rare few places that he felt like he could really be himself. There was a window at the corner of the library, next to a few tables covered in velvet red tablecloths. He could see through the window that snow had begun to fall lightly again outside. Armin walked towards one of the oil lamps, wrapping his frozen hands around the glass to warm up before the meeting.

Levi was sitting at one of the tables, a look of intense concentration etched upon his face. The rest of the cabin was well vacated. The fact that he and the Captain were alone in a room together made his hands shiver slightly even in the warmth. The books and scrolls placed upon the desk were arranged neatly as usual. This, he was not surprised by. Levi and him had always shared the same need for tidiness and cleanliness in their lives. To Armin, he felt like the orderliness gave him feelings of some measure of control over his surroundings, which was a lot more than could be said about their lives in the Survey Corps. Two cups of tea were sitting on the table as well, on perfectly angled coasters. That was another commonality that they shared – a love for delectable tea. Eren, on the other hand, always left his things strewn around the space, and never developed an appreciation for good food or good drinks. He was never particularly sophisticated, Armin thought, and a slight chuckle escaped his lips.

“You’re here,” Levi said without looking up. “Come take a look at this.”

“Yes, Corporal.”

He glanced up. “Just Levi will do.”

Armin felt a lump in his throat. “Y-Yes, Cor- I mean, Levi.”

He walked over to Levi’s side, and was soon absorbed in tactical discussion about capturing the female Titan before Eren’s hearing in the Capital. Once or twice, though, he let himself get distracted by the promixity of the Captain. Their shoulders were close enough to brush against each other, and Levi’s sharp jawline was particularly accentuated by the shadows from candlelight. Up close, his sharp features were stunningly good looking. Armin shook his head slightly in a futile attempt to clear his mind, drank a sloppy mouthful of tea, and forced his gaze back onto the maps. This was not a time to get distracted.

The snow outside the library cabin grew steadily heavier. The rowdy sounds of soldiers talking and drinking on the snow-covered grass patch nearby faded into nothingness, and it was late enough that most people had probably returned to their cabins to sleep. Armin leaned far over to the left to place a pin on the 2nd suspected location of Annie with her Military Police Regiment, and highlighted the alleys where they were to began their plan – leaning into Levi as he did so.

“Oh- Sorry, Captain,” he said, looking up, before realising that Levi’s face was a few mere centimetres away from his own. Armin's gaze couldn't help but flutter downwards, towards the Captain's lips.

Whenever he thought back on this incident, he always wondered where he found the courage or the emotions that propelled his two feet to stumble forward. He never knew, or figured it out.

Armin leaned forward, closing the gap between them. His mouth pressed against the Captain’s, softly, gently, like the smallest of drizzles. Levi had surprisingly warm and soft lips, for someone who exuded such a cold aura. His heart was palpitating so quickly that it felt like it was about to pounce right out of his chest. His hands, hungry for intimacy, went up to rest on Levi’s waist, tugging him closer. Levi didn’t push him away, but neither did he kiss Armin back. He was simply as still as a statue.

Armin gasped slightly as he pulled back gently. Levi had an expression of mild shock on his face, something he had never seen before. It was impossibly difficult to catch Levi by surprise.

“I _love_ you, Corporal,” Armin said softly, eyes half lidded in a daze from the kiss. “I love _you._ ”

The magnitude of the words he had just said hit him like a wagon, and his eyes flew wide open as he came to his senses. _What had he just done?_ He had _kissed_ the Corporal and _confessed his love_ for him. Stumbling backwards, he knocked over a few scrolls of parchment.

“I – I’m sorry – It’s late, we should go back, and, get some sleep, maybe, good night, I’ll see you tomorrow, or maybe never,” Armin said, as he knocked over a few more items on his way out and tried to smile as if he wasn’t fleeing the scene. Once he reached the nearest bookshelf, he sprinted towards the exit, not even turning back when Levi shouted at him to wait.

***

Over the next few days, Armin had tried his best to avoid Levi. He constantly felt a mixture of guilt, embarrassment, and shame boiling up within him, which stopped him from facing the Captain at all. Despite all the negative emotions, and the resigned fact that he would not get to spend close time with Levi anymore, he couldn’t say in confidence that he regretted his actions. That kiss with Levi had felt like a once-in-a-lifetime experience for him, and he would press his finger to his lips at abrupt moments during training, thinking of how impossibly good it had felt to kiss the man he was in love with. The scene in the dim lighting replayed in his head, over and over again, sapping him of his focus. Occasionally, his mind would wander to a daydream of that night, playing out a sequence where _Levi had kissed him back, their bodies pressed up against each other, torsos connecting their heartbeats through layers of skin, flesh and bone_. Those daydreams caught him and pulled him in like a spiral, thinking about _what could have happened_. _Levi's low voice formed into incoherent grunts, hot and heavy breaths, little marks on the neck..._

Despite not having a single conversation with Levi for days, he still managed to worm his way into and occupy Armin's time, concentration and love. This wasn't logical, and that did irk Armin slightly, simply because he could solve many problems with common sense - but this was not one of them. 

Unsurprisingly, he wasn’t summoned to any tactical meetings. This reaffirmed the sinking feeling in his gut – Levi did not want to see him around anymore after that day. They ate in the same areas during lunch times, but Armin would gulp down his food and disappear to his hideaway in a broom cupboard or in the stables with the horses. He could not face Levi at all. Mikasa and Eren both seem very concerned about his new behaviour of isolating himself from everyone, but they gave up on pressing answers from him after 2 days, when Armin constantly said that he was okay with a grimace on his face.

The avoiding plan seemed to work really well for approximately 5 days, and he was starting to think that, with a sheer stroke of luck, Levi might have forgotten about everything, and he would just be a normal cadet going to training with his two best friends. After dinner, he ran away to his usual broom cupboard, and sat inside, amidst rows of dusty and disgusting cleaning supplies.

There was a loud thud at the door, as if somebody was kicking exasperatedly at it.

“Arlert, that’s enough. Fucking come out!” Levi yelled.

Armin tried to pretend that he wasn’t inside.

“I’ll kick the fucking door down! You best believe I’m capable of it!”

It looked like Armin had no choice but to open the door sheepishly. He unlocked the door, and pulled it open gingerly, peeking out at Levi from between the gap in the door. Levi wrenched a foot in between said gap, and forced the door open. Armin felt that this scenario was very reminiscent of when he forced his way into Levi’s room. Being on the other end turned out to be a rather unpleasant feeling.

“I’m just… looking for supplies… to clean my room!”

“Bullshit. Don’t fucking play dumb with me. Fuck, it’s fucking dirty in here. Whoever’s on cleaning duty for this broom shed is going to get it once I check the timetable.” Levi pulled Armin out by the arm, and dragged him to the library, before kicking everyone out of the room, and locking the door.

“I expected more out of you, Arlert.”

Armin thought it was impossible to feel worse than he had, but he did. His heart sank upon hearing the tone of disappointment and reprimand in Levi’s voice. The Captain pulled out the chair from under the table and sat down, one leg propped up on his other knee. Irritation and annoyance was written all over his face. Armin looked down at his toes, feeling his face burn with shame.

“I gave you a few days of break. Everyone at the meeting was asking about you, saying they wanted to hold off decision making until you returned. I told them you were unwell/ I thought you would come back after a few days, and be that rational and intelligent Armin that everyone needed. Day after day, you continued to hide in that fucking gross cupboard. Then I realised you weren’t going to turn up if nobody pulled you out of the shithole you're in. Care to explain yourself?”

“I’m sorry, Corporal.” 

“There’s a fucking difference between an explanation and an apology,” Levi snarled, though seemingly slightly more appeased.

“I couldn’t bring myself to face you. Especially with my – my feelings – for you,” Armin stuttered. Levi paused for a second, face unreadable. 

“I would have thought that you would be someone who could draw clear boundary lines between work and emotions. You’re not anything like Eren, who thinks with his heart and his anger, easily provoked. You’re smart, and emotionally mature, as far as I’ve observed. This isn’t the first time I’m telling you this, but I’m going to say it again so that it gets through your skull. We’re in a war, Armin. We need to put aside feelings before we can save humanity.”

“How do you manage it?” Armin choked out, before he could stop himself. He also noticed that Levi did not outright reject him.

“I think I have the same feelings and weaknesses as everyone else. Love, hatred, sadness, grief – all of us feel these. I’m not an exception. Before I entered the Corps, I was a foolhardy person who wore his heart on his sleeve. I joined up with 2 best friends, Isabel and Farlan. We were not unlike you, Eren and Mikasa. Joining the Regiment seemed great… until they died because of my poor judgment.” Levi looked pointedly at the pattern on the tablecloth. “I wanted to quit the Corps, go back to a life of thievery and crime. Erwin stopped me. He told me that I was wasting their lives if I stopped killing Titans. I admired him so, and I followed in his footsteps to keep my emotions under lock and key, only letting them out when I need to.”

“Do you love him?” Armin whispered quietly. It wasn't the main takeaway of the story, but Armin yearned to know.

“Love? No. Admiration is not the same as love. He has cast away a bit too much of his humanity for me to love him, though I might have, once – if we had more time together, if he didn't become the way he is. Don't get me wrong, I still admire him, though I must admit he has started seeing humans as pawns, to achieve the greater good. He has become more careless with the lives of others, and I hope not to go down the same path... Before you think about blaming him, it’s not his fault, given the situation he has been put in. Anyone in his position would be likely to stop seeing the individual value of human lives, when he has to zoom out and look at the bigger picture.”

Armin’s throat was dry. He had no idea what to say, and the silence was gradually becoming uncomfortable. Despite the seriousness of the conversation, his heart felt lighter at the fact that Levi subtly hinted the possibility of being into men. Though he was absolutely nothing compared to Commander Erwin, and it was still unlikely for Levi to be interested in him, his chance was no longer abysmally zero.

“And that’s where we need you. Someone with Erwin’s tactical brilliance, but with enough altruism and emotional intelligence to weigh decisions in a more balanced manner. So for fuck’s sake, please turn up to the damn meetings, and put your feelings aside.” Levi’s mention of the meetings signified that the talk was over, and there was no room for discussion. It was an order, from his Captain.

Armin understood what he had to do. Chances of Levi being interested in him or not, he had to focus on the bigger things at hand. Capturing or killing Annie was of extreme importance now, and he could not spare much time to dwell on his romantic feelings, which, were a speck of dust compared to the size of the universe. Any thoughts of shame or guilt towards Levi also needed to be put aside. Levi gave him a way out by having this talk tonight, and he would grasp it to not disappoint his Captain.

The next few days were rushed meetings to make up for the few days that Armin had not turned up – as well as preparations of allocation of manpower around the alleyways that they were going to use in the plan to capture Annie. A large number of the older squad members were aware of the plan, though nobody from the 104th squad were enlightened about the identity of the female Titan. This prevented any possible accomplices from informing Annie of the plan. Eren and Mikasa were to be the exceptions, but it was decided that they would be told the night before the plan was to be executed.

The relationship between Levi and Armin had returned to as normal as it used to be, albeit with a few more accidental hand brushes that Armin had not failed to notice. Every time they came into the slightest skin contact, Armin felt electrified and alive, though he kept his promise to keep his eyes on the tasks at hand.

The night before they were planning to tell Eren about the plan, Armin found himself huddled in the same library with only Levi around. They were standing at the same chairs by the window, confirming the details to tell Eren, a similar map laid before them. The feelings of Déjà vu were too hard to ignore, and Armin felt himself blushing as their shoulders brushed again. Levi had put one of the pins wrongly, and Armin leaned over to correct it. This all seemed so familiar... Armin pulled back quickly before he could make the same mistake of kissing Levi, before shaking his head and gripping the table. He couldn’t afford to lose control of his feelings, not at such a pivotal point in the war. 

The sudden jerk backwards on Armin’s end caused Levi to look at him, one eyebrow raised. He could not decipher Levi’s expression – every instinct told him to make a run for the nearest exit.

He already ran once, though, and he wouldn't disappoint Levi a second time.

Loosening his grip and taking a deep breath, he willed himself to calm down, willed his feet to stay rooted to the ground. This wasn’t a time to get distracted –

Levi leaned in to kiss him. It was a chaste kiss, barely grazing the surface of his lips. He tasted like mint and tea, which was surprisingly refreshing. Levi’s hand moved to cup his neck, then his cheek, then his fingers fisted in Armin’s blond hair. Armin closed his eyes, hands sliding up his Corporal’s front, feeling the hard muscles through a thin layer of cloth beneath his fingers. His arms moved up to wrap around Levi’s neck, and he continued pulling the slightly shorter man closer to him. He gasped into Levi’s mouth, who proceeded to bite down gently, before running his tongue along Armin's lower lip, asking implicitly for permission. 

Levi pulled back, face slightly flushed, still as expressionless as the day Armin first saw him. He stepped backwards, and straightened his cravat, eyes back on the map.

“Corporal, does this mean – does this mean you like me? You love me?” Armin asked anxiously as he caught his breath. He was afraid of the answer, but he wanted to find out. He _needed_ to find out.

“I don’t hate you as much as I hate everyone else,” Levi said flatly, as if that answered Armin’s question.

A few seconds went by in awkward silence.

“You did a good job the past few days. You achieved that right balance, and managed to accomplish the things you had to do. I – seems like I was the one who couldn’t keep my emotions in control today.” He ran his hand through his hand grouchily.

“Does that mean –”

“Fuck, Armin! Don’t make me say it! You’re the smartest guy in the whole of Shiganshina, work it out yourself!”

On that happy note, they resumed their work for the next few hours. Armin’s lips tingled, and he felt a lot more happy and hopeful than he had for the past decade. They were still in the middle of a war, they still had their lives on the line, but the thought that Levi loved him back was enough for him to die with no regrets. No matter how the war went, Levi would be fighting by his side. When this was all over, assuming they managed to pull through without dying – they could go and see the ocean together. They could open their own tea shop together… That’s what Levi would want.

**X5.**

Armin awoke in a soft bed in a small room with a singular window and translucent curtains floating in the wind. Light streamed in through the window, as well as dust and debris from the battle. His head was hurting terribly, and he couldn’t really remember why. Gingerly pressing a hand to his hair, he found that a bandage was wrapped around his head. He must be mildly concussed. Mikasa was next to him, half asleep with her face buried in the blankets. At the sound of him jostling around – she snapped awake and looked at him with concerned eyes. She took his hand in one of her own warm ones, and used her other hand to brush his fringe out of his eyes.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m… I’m okay, I think. What happened to Eren? And… Annie? I don’t really remember anything other than trying to distract Annie after Eren’s failed transformation – then yelling at him to try and transform – I can’t remember what happened after that – my head’s hurting,” Armin said in a rush.

“Relax, Armin,” Mikasa said gently, accompanied with a slight squeeze of his hand.

“Eren’s fine. Jean’s with him.”

“Jean???” That was the last person Armin would have imagined to be in Eren's room.

“They're still arguing, though it's something along the lines of 'you suicidal bastard, were you just going to fuck off and leave me all alone?' I have no idea what’s actually between them, so don’t ask. We think you got hit by a piece of building rubble during the fight, so you have a slight concussion right now. Eren managed to transform into his Titan form, and battled with Annie until she was subdued. She tried to climb the wall, by hardening her fingers, but Eren and I took her down. She refused to be taken in by us though, so she froze herself within a crystal, the same type that her Titan form had control over. We can’t get anything out of her now, but at least the higher-ups believe that Eren isn’t guilty anymore.”

Armin clutched at his blanket. He should have been happy that they captured Annie, but he couldn’t find the energy in himself to be elated. Instead, he felt a sense of numbing exhaustion and a want to fall back into the soft sheets and sleep until everything bad was over.

“The Corporal’s outside, waiting for you. If you want to talk to him, that is, I can tell him to back off if you’re not ready – though he seems more concerned than I’ve ever seen him, somehow,” Mikasa said, awaiting Armin’s response.

“I want to see him, ‘Kasa. Very much.”

Mikasa didn’t respond. She brushed part of his blond hair behind his ear, in a rather maternal manner – before walking silently towards the door, and opening it.

Levi was dressed in a handsome black coat, along with black pants and a grey shirt, as well as his typical cravat tied around his neck. Standing right in the ray of sunlight, holding a tray of tea, he looked more handsome than Armin had ever thought of him. The outfit he wore suited his eyes and his raven hair, with striking similarities to the dream wedding version of him. Mikasa closed the door behind her, and they were alone in the room.

Levi limped slightly towards the dressing table, and put the tray of tea on the table. Armin tried to sit up, but the slight movement made him dizzy, and he ended up in a half sitting half lying position as his hand clutched at his head.

“Watch it, Arlert,” Levi chided, though in a concerned tone.

He sat next to Armin on the bed, and pulled him up into a sitting position and into his arms. Armin rested his head in the nook between Levi’s neck and his shoulder. One arm slung around Armin’s back, the Captain picked up the cup of tea by the handle and raised it slowly to Armin’s lips, so that he could sip at it. He then adjusted his position so that Armin could lie more comfortably on his chest, before readjusting the bandage clip on his head. Taking off his black coat, he lay it over Armin’s shivering body, fussing over it for a couple of seconds. The coat wasn’t exactly necessary. The warmth emanating from Levi’s body was enough to make him feel better. He could hear Levi’s heartbeat, and it was a wondrous feeling to be so close to the man he loved that he could hear the strong and fierce rush of his heart.

Armin had never seen Levi so tender and caring, but it was a somewhat welcome change from short-and-grumpy all the time. He loved Levi even with that frequent scowl, but knowing that he was the only one to get gentle attention and love made him feel special.

“How’s your ankle?”

“It’ll get better. I’ve been through worse. You’re the one shit enough to get your head hurt every single mission.”

“I’m not as talented as a certain someone, you know. Humanity’s Strongest, all that, I clearly pale in comparison,” Armin jested weakly.

“I know that. I still want you to fucking give a shit about your life and not just throw it away for Mikasa or that brat Eren.”

Armin paused for a second, thinking about the statement, eyes thoughtful.

"I don't really mind... I used to be scared, somehow, of dying - but not anymore. What's there to be scared, of, really? My life has been pretty good. I don't have any more regrets, now that you're here, and you're real, and you're holding me..." Everything that came out of his mouth sounded ridiculous, even to himself, but he meant what he said. Levi didn't seem to appreciate it, though. He yanked Armin closer, albeit a little roughly - and buried his face in Armin's hair.

"Don't say that. I don't allow you to say stuff like that. You sound like you're so ready to die," Levi muttered against a mouthful of blond hair. Armin couldn't see Levi's expression, but it was obvious that the man was upset.

"But - "

"I don't want to hear it."

"Levi - " 

"It's an order, Arlert. Shut up." 

Armin could feel him trembling ever so slightly.

"Okay. Not going to say anymore about it." 

***

Over the next few days, Armin rested in that single bedroom. His concussion was still pretty terrible, and he needed a couple of days away from training as well as meetings. This worked fine with Erwin’s plannings, as he had to frequently have meetings with the authorities in Wall Sina, and there wasn’t much use for him particularly in the clean up of the aftermath of the female Titan. Levi popped in and out when he was available, always bringing Armin’s favourite black tea with him. Sometimes the tea came slightly cold, but Armin would never scoff at it, and he would sip gently while Levi talked about the wide world outside the tiny bedroom.

At night, when everyone was asleep, Armin would hear a soft knock on his window, and stumble over to let Levi in with his 3DM gear. He thought they were being rather blatant about whatever was between them, even if Levi only appeared around 1am every day, and insisted that he wasn’t to be faulted for caring about his subordinates.

Armin always found himself staying up until 1am no matter how tired he was, just to be awake when Levi arrived.

“Such a waste of gas and resources, using your gear just to come into my room.”

“Would you rather I not? I shan’t bother, then.”

“No, you know I want to see you,” Armin said as he laughed, and pulled Levi into his arms.

“Go to sleep, Arlert.”

Even though Levi came into his bedroom every night, he never deigned to share a bed with Armin, which was frankly, rather disappointing. Armin never asked him about it, but he always wondered why Levi was alright with hugging him, kissing him, holding him, but not sleeping in the same bed as him. He always took off his shoes, clambered into the small chair next to the dressing table, covered himself with his Survey Corps cloak, and went to sleep curled up.

Armin stayed up later than Levi once, and watched him sleep in that chair. With his small stature and the way he slept in a huddle in the chair, he seemed a lot less intimidating. It was so easy to forget that he had the strength and skill of an entire squad by himself. He looked a lot more relaxed when he slept, his constant scowl no longer etched on his face. It made him look younger, without the wrinkles that he got from frowning even when he was only 24. Armin got out of bed that night, and brushed his hand across his hair, then along his cheek. He did not stir. That night, Armin pressed a kiss to his forehead, between his hair.

This night, he could no longer resist not knowing, so he asked.

“Levi, why do you sleep in that chair? We – we could share the bed, you know.”

“I’m just used to sleeping in a chair. I don’t need a lot of sleep, anyway. Go to bed, Arlert.”

Armin stood up, and grasped Levi’s hand.

“Sleep with me tonight. Please.” Armin said it not because he wanted the man he loved in his bed – his intentions were not so self centred. He wanted Levi to really get a good night’s rest, in a soft bed, and sleep for more than 3 hours. He could see dark rings under Levi’s eyes, and it pained him to see how much Levi was suffering at night. Thinking to himself that he wanted to do anything in his power to give Levi a good night’s sleep, he tugged gently on Levi’s hand, and pulled him into his bed. Levi showed no sign of resistance.

They tumbled into bed together, a mass of tangled limbs.

Levi was facing him, eyes half lidded, arm tucked beneath Armin’s neck. It was the first time in all the nights they spent together that Levi seemed sleepy.

“It’s going to be alright,” Armin whispered. It was meant to be soothing, quiet words to guide him to dreamland, but it did not have the intended effect.

“Anyone who says it’s going to be alright is fucking kidding themselves,” Levi responded, half asleep. An awkward few seconds pass by. “But I know you’re saying it to make me feel safe as I sleep.”

He pat Armin on the cheek.

“Having you here is enough.”

On that note, Levi fell asleep. Armin stayed awake for a little while more, appreciating the way they were so physically close to each other it made his breath catch in his lungs. His hand went up to clasp his Captain’s hand that was still cupping his cheek. Their torsos were close enough together that their heartbeats seemed to yearn to connect to each other. Armin’s legs were curled around Levi’s, his bare feet surprisingly cold from the night air.

He let his hand wander towards Levi, cupping his cheek, sliding down to his collar, thumb ghosting over the other man’s thin lips. His gaze fell to Levi’s shirt, where the top few buttons were undone, showing mere hints and glimpses of his muscled and bruised torso. There were so many scars all over his body, but that made Armin find him all the more handsome. Having no scars were next to impossible when they were caught up in a war like this, and Levi’s scars accentuated his muscles – as if he were an angel that got seriously roughed up when he fell from heaven.

The same three words fell from Armin’s lips naturally, as if they wanted to escape him desperately and find their way to the man sleeping peacefully next to him.

**X0.**

Levi’s always had nightmares. He detested the act of sleeping. Part of the reason why he only had a few hours a night was because insomnia and thoughts kept him up – the other part of it was that he was simply afraid. Night time was often a ritual where he was forced to relive the worst parts of his life, over and over again. The mutilation of people he knew. Their blood all over the walls.

After he met Armin, the nightmares were no longer about Isabel and Farlan, who were the people closest to his idea of friendship, or Erwin – his most trusted commander and best friend. They were always about Armin. His brain wasn’t good for much, but it was good at concocting multiple ways that Armin could possibly die at the hands of Titans, and playing them like an exclusive stage play every night.

This was why he hated having people close to him.

He swore that he would never let anyone get that close anymore. There was no place in his heart for people – it was full to the brim with vengeance and duty, which suited him just fine. He didn’t expect Armin to stumble into his room, and later into his heart – but those blue eyes were impossible to turn down. Armin was a lot of things at the same time. He had the best qualities of the people around him – Eren’s loyalty, Mikasa’s steadfastness, Erwin’s strategical intelligence, Marco’s kindness, Jean’s passion, and his own personal brand of a mixture of sweetness and steel. He also happened to share Levi’s love for cleanliness and tea, though that was so superficial that Levi was sure he would have fallen anyway even if he was as sloppy as his best friend.

Tonight, he agreed to sleep in Armin’s bed. He could never say no, when Armin pleaded. Armin could ask for anything, and he would do everything to get it.

Sleeping in a comfortable bed made it harder to awaken from the nightmares. He would be stuck for a longer time in his nightmares, tossing and turning in sweat for up to half an hour before he was granted the mercy of waking up. Sleeping in a chair made it easier to snap out when he tumbled out from the chair onto the cold, hard floor.

He knew that Armin wanted his warmth in his bed tonight, though. He could not refuse him.

With the recruit pressed up against him, head resting on his arm, he thought to himself – perhaps tonight, he could have a dreamless night.

He was wrong.

He was standing on top of a building. Armin was far away, barely visible, surrounded by multiple titans. He was kneeling on the red shingles of the roof, fiddling with his 3DM gear. Something was terribly wrong. It seemed as if his gear was broken, or that he ran out of gas. They made eye contact, and Armin shouted something. He couldn’t hear what Armin said, but it seemed like he was yelling Levi’s name.

“Wait, Armin, don’t move! I’ll be right there!” Levi yelled, but his voice was carried away by the wind. Panic fluttered in his chest, and he cut a straight line through 3 titans, blood splattering over his clothes, as he flew towards Armin. He was speeding as fast as he could, but the Titan behind Armin sneaked up and grabbed him, before proceeding to put half of him in his mouth. A scream of pain pierced through the air, as the large, yellowed teeth of the Titan bit down, and blood droplets flew across the air.

Levi had never been this afraid, in his life. Fear threatened to engulf him, as he finally reached Armin’s side, and killed the Titan in two quick moves before pulling Armin out. His lower half was nearly fully detached from his body, and blood was flowing from Armin all over the grey concrete pavement. He clung to what was left of Armin’s body, cradling him close, hoping for some miracle to save him, despite the pool of blood around them.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get there in time, I’m so fucking sorry, don’t leave me, please, I’m fucking begging you –” Levi couldn’t remember the last time he cried, but his tears splattered onto Armin’s face, and he wiped them away with a blood stained hand, making even more of a mess.

Armin gripped his hand.

“ _Levi_ , I love you – ”

His hand went slack.

Levi woke up, paralysed by terror. His hair was damp with sweat, and plastered to his forehead. Every single recurring dream he’s had of Armin ended with him saying that he loved Levi, and the thought of those being Armin’s last words shook him down to his core. He hated it. He hated that he already had 17 different dreams of Armin dying in a gruesome manner and saying that he loved him, blood splattered messily over his still beautiful face. His hands were shaking so badly he would have dropped the 3DM gear if he were holding it.

Armin was still asleep, next to him. The sky was still a really dark shade of blue outside, leading Levi to think that he may have slept only 2 or so hours. He glanced at Armin. His relatively long blond hair swept over his face, and he looked nightmare free. In fact, he had a small smile on his face. Levi would have paid money to find out what he was dreaming about – perhaps – he was splashing around in the ocean. It was so hard to grasp that Armin was still safe right next to him after the dream that he had. Yet, here he was.

Levi lay back down. Sleep could not possibly come to him anymore, but he wasn’t keen on getting out of bed and back to his room. He wanted to enjoy a few more hours holding Armin in his arms, if only just to reassure himself that Armin was, indeed, alright.

***

Levi would always remember the way Armin said he loved him.

Armin was someone who was very vocal and passionate about everything he loved. He would wear his heart on his sleeve in the moments that it mattered. Whenever they spent time together, the blonde boy found the most random moments to profess his love for the Captain.

Levi, on the other hand, was never outspoken about his feelings. He was always a more-action-less-talk kind of person.

_“I want to see the ocean!” Armin would say excitedly, poring over his favourite books together in the library with Levi. That particular cabin had become their regular haunt, and nobody was stupid enough to infringe on what became one of Levi’s personal spaces._

_The pictures in the books were quite rudimentarily painted, and Levi could not seem understand why Armin liked them so much. Even the wonders of the world described seemed pretty lacklustre. An entire land covered in sand? It sounded dry, and hot. And dirty. No matter what Armin said, sand sounded a lot like yellow coloured soil to him, and he definitely did not want that getting in his coat, his cravat, or his shoes. The ocean thing sounded even more ludicrous. He could appreciate that there was salt in these waters, as salt was an expensive commodity that they could not afford on a Survey Corp’s salary – but what was the point if the salt was all in the water and couldn’t be taken out? What were they even going to do with all that water? Shower?_

_He had absolutely no certitude about these places, but Armin’s face of excitement and wonder made him smile faintly. Anything that Armin loved, he loved. Anywhere that Armin wanted to go, he would go, if just to see him light up with happiness._

_He had always thought the world was a cruel place, but he had an overwhelming urge to see the world through Armin’s sunshine-tinted glasses._

_“Most of all, I want to go there with you, Captain!” Armin said. His eyes shone. “I want to go there with the person I love!”_

_That sincerity and conviction Armin had made Levi’s heart ache in ways he had never known before._

***

Whatever Levi had seen in his dreams, he was not expecting the horror that lay in front of him. His world felt like it was rapidly spiralling out of control, and he had no control over the cruel reality that threatened to wash him away like a tsunami. (Armin taught him about that, too.)

He was on the brink of death, charred so black he was nearly unrecognisable. Those blue eyes that reminded Levi so much of the ocean were closed and unforgiving. He could not even articulate those three words that meant so much to Levi, to the both of them. The smoke had burnt away and damaged his vocal cords beyond repair. All that came out was a raspy groan, sounding like a desperate plea to end his suffering. It probably was one. He must be hurting, so much, that he wasn't even thinking about hanging onto life... He must be in so much pain, to beg for death. The sound wrenched Levi’s heart in two. He didn't think anything could feel worse than this. 

Levi had not imagined a world where Armin would die without telling him that he loved him for the last time.

It was a hundred, a thousand, a million times worse than his most terrible fears and nightmares.

“You can’t, Armin. You can’t. I want to hear those three words from you again, Arlert, I want to hear my name, say it right now,” Levi said as he shook Armin’s burnt corpse, before pulling it so close and cradling his body. Tiny bits of black ash fluttered like snow onto Levi’s white shirt.

“I’ll teach you how to say it, yeah.” Levi tried to keep his shaking voice under control, tried to keep his tears from falling. He knew that recruits were watching, but he couldn’t care less. All that existed at that moment was him and his Armin. “ _I love you, Armin,_ wake up, fuck, I still didn’t get to hear your last words, I’m begging you.”

In all of 5 years, he had never actually said it to Armin.

He was such a fool.

He took so many things for granted.

He took it for granted that Armin would always be there to say it to him, even when he was dying. He took it for granted that Armin knew what he felt, and there was no need to say it, when his actions hinted at his feelings.

Eren yanked hard on Levi’s arm, attempting to pull him back from Armin. Levi pushed Eren away halfheartedly. If he had meant to, he had the capability to send the brat crashing to the floor – but Eren barely swayed on his feet.

“Fuck off, Levi. Fuck off my best friend’s body. You don’t get to say all this fucking shit to Armin when you don’t mean it! You don’t get to say all of this dumb shit and then choose Erwin! I’ll fight you for the fucking injection!” Armin’s best friend finally managed to pull Levi backwards, and delivered a punch straight to his face.

 _The injection,_ Levi thought.

In the midst of the grief, fear and shock, he had forgotten it was there.

Levi didn’t even register that he got hit in the face enough that his cheek was swelling and he was in a tangle of limbs on the floor. He also failed to register Hanji pulling Eren back and admonishing him.

The Titan injection was still tucked away safely in the nook of a leather pouch attached securely to his harness around his torso.

He had a choice between the man he had loved for the past 5 years, or his best friend that had been his guiding light for more than a decade.

His cheeks burned with shame when his first thought was that _it's not even a choice, it's not even a competition, there is no life for me without Armin_.

_I’m sorry, Erwin._

His hands fumbled for it, but he was shaking so hard that it was impossible to get it properly. It took a few tries, before his trembling self finally closed his fist around the injection, and pulled it out of the little pocket attached to the harness. It nearly slipped right out of his sweaty palm. His lungs seemed practically incapable of taking in air, as he told himself over and over again to collect himself and save Armin.

“I’ll save you, Armin, wait for me, I promise, you have to wait for me to tell you what I haven’t said,” Levi murmured as he scrambled to all fours, leaning over his boyfriend’s unconscious self. The tremor in his hand refused to stop, no matter how much he yelled at himself internally, and he ended up dropping the cap to the syringe. He had never been clumsy, but it seemed impossible to get his limbs to listen.

Everyone watched Levi with a mixture of pity, anger, disbelief and sadness.

The fumbling went on for a good few seconds, until Hanji could barely look at him anymore. 

Hanji knelt down and tried the syringe from Levi’s hands. He clung onto it. No one was going to take it, it was his boyfriend's last lifeline. He would protect it with his own life. 

"Let go, Levi, let me do it. Before he's gone." 

Levi knew that Hanji disapproved of his decision, as did most of the remaining recruits standing around him, but he would destroy anyone who dared to stand in his way. However, Erwin made it clear that this decision would be Levi’s and Levi’s alone. That, added on to the fact that Hanji had a deep enough friendship with Levi that he trusted them enough to respect his choices, made Levi hand over the syringe willingly.

He watched as they took the syringe quickly and injected it into Armin’s upper arm with a certain level of precision and deftness, before he blacked out.

***

In all of his career fighting Titans, he had never passed out.

There’s a first time for everything, I guess, he thought to himself. 

He woke up hazily to see Armin, pale, beautiful, unblemished, looking down at him. His slightly long blond hair hung over Levi’s face. Those beautiful bright blue eyes had tears welling up in them, and it made Levi’s heart hurt. He wiped them away shakily, smearing some ash and blood on Armin’s face in the process. Why did he even try?

The back of his head was warm, and he realised he was lying in Armin’s lap.

“ _I love you, Armin_ ,” Levi breathed.

Armin started laughing and crying at the same time.

“For the record, I also _hate_ you,” he continued weakly. “Fucking selfless bastard. Always ready to lay yourself down to save someone else. Did you ever think about what I would do without you? Did you think about how you said we would see the ocean together? I never fucking gave a shit about a huge body of water until I met you. Now I really want to fucking see it, so don’t flake out on me.”

“I can turn into a 60m Titan now,” Armin joked. “I’ll carry you on my shoulder and walk you all the way there.”

“Great, now I feel even fucking tinier. Shouldn’t have used the damn injection on you.”

Armin brushed Levi’s face tenderly with the back of his hand.

“Eren told me how upset you were when you saw my body. I conclude that you very much want me alive, and you would have never considered otherwise.” Armin, smiled, leaned down, and pressed a kiss to Levi’s forehead, before saying quietly, “I’m sorry it had to cost you Erwin. I know he meant everything to you.”

There he was, being impossibly sweet and considerate despite coming back from the dead half an hour ago.

Levi’s hand searched for Armin’s, interlacing them when they connected.

“He did mean a lot to me, but nothing will ever mean more to me than you do. I love you, Armin. Please fucking take that in carefully, because I’m never saying it again.”

 _That last sentence was a lie_ , Levi thought, as he fell asleep to Armin’s fingers stroking his hair. They still had days, weeks, years, to say those words to each other.

**Author's Note:**

> In the many different times that Armin said those three words, I tried to express a different tone, emphasis, feeling. Kudos are appreciated, hope you enjoyed reading what I wrote, thanks for stopping by <3  
> X3 was really short, but I couldn’t figure out how to make it longer, bc the content is just the way it is. I’m not sure if I should have split the chapters up, but then they would look really unbalanced in terms of length. I would personally call this a rather long one-shot, than a fic with 6 mini chapters  
> Armin doesn’t get to say it in the last chapter, but Levi did it for him! Yay!  
> In my fic world, the Curse of Ymir doesn’t exist. No 13 years thing. Armin will open a damn tea shop with Levi when all this is over, and live the rest of their lives being grossly in love and grossly absorbed with cleanliness tgt.  
> I hope I didn’t go too OOC with Levi! I would like to think I’ve got somewhat of a grasp on Armin, especially since he’s closer to who I am than Levi is – but I did try to also get a good idea of how Levi would act / react!  
> If there’s grammatical / spelling errors, I’m sorry! Nobody proofread this other than myself, and English isn’t my first language.  
> If you love Rivarmin, come fangirl with me please! There’s too little Rivarmin. :’v I also altered the ages in the story to make the age gap a little less off-putting, and Armin is 18 when anything starts happening. Even if 15 year old Armin is already so mature and tragically grown-up, more so than if they were in a Titan-free world – he’s still underage ultimately in the events that happen in the anime.)
> 
> edit: psst. if ur here i have another aot fic that's about erejean but has rivarmin as the side ship hehe


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